I don't use the word hate, but I know this for sure, I don't like you. I don't want anything to do with you as a matter of fact. You make things very awkward, and the worst part is-I didn't even do anything to you!
Do you remember that time in the 8th grade when we first met? I remember it so well-a friend of mine complimented my eye make up. As I tried to process this for five seconds, I realized that you're so visible that you made one of my eyelids a different color. The only way I could save myself from embarrassment was to thank her for the compliment as I slumped into my seat in the lunchroom. After that, I did everything possible to get rid of you and it worked...for a while because you were gone and I thought I never had to worry about you again.
Well, I got out of the shower today and I see that after a seven year hiatus, you have reappeared on the eyelid where we first met. My eyelid isn't enough for you for some reason because now, I see that you have found the area behind my ears and perhaps my scalp because I see more snow on my shoulders than a blizzard in the Colorado Rockies (my homemade still-being-tested peppermint oil hair spray is after you. AFTER YOU I SAY!). This will not do. THIS WILL NOT DO AT ALL! I can't wear make-up for a while [I'm expecting my little black box from MAC by Wednesday, can't try it out until it goes away >:( ] and it's making me more self-conscious than I already am. THANKS FOR THAT!
I guess what I'm trying to say is-you suck. Once I get rid of you, I hope you we never cross paths again.
Yours (with a Q-Tip of anti-fungal cream in hand),
--Do you have a skin condition that sucks? Go ahead, write a letter to it, tell it about itself!